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How to forgive someone who hurt you-http://www.sethbarnes.com/?filen ... omeone-who-hurt-you
You were in a vulnerable spot and were blindsided. That person youtrusted hurt you in an unthinkable way. The thing that was mostprecious to you was stolen and now life can never be the same. Everyday you live with the pain of raw, exposed nerve endings - the throb ofbitterness, the flashbacks, the thoughts of how things could haveplayed out differently. What do you do? Weall deal with it. To be human is to at times suffer extreme pain -rape, abuse, robbery, murder or merely betrayal. You're not unique - weall get wounded. Yet, sometimes the pain of that loss is so unspeakablethat we don't even have the vocabulary to describe what it's doing tous.
The result is often a feeling of bitterness that holds us prisonerand walls us off from a part of ourselves. It's irrational, yet we feelpowerless to change - we're actually punishing ourselves and expectingthe person who wounded us to suffer.
The only way out of that prison, of course, is forgiveness.I remember suffering two betrayals, forgiving both parties right away,and still struggling for a couple of years to figure out whom I couldever trust and how I should feel.
The way out for me began when I chose to forgive. It didn't stop thepain or the flashbacks, but it did drain the infected wound inside me.Then, every time that those memories came to mind, I chose to forgiveagain, because forgiveness is never a one-time event. Every time theold memories are stirred up, you have to belly up the bar and forgiveagain.
Jesus began his ministry by pounding this theme. Read Matthew 5-7and count how many times he said things like, "Pray for those who giveyou a hard time." If we claim to be a follower of Jesus, we'll do whathe says (1 John 2:1-6 is unequivocal on this score - we have no wiggleroom). As hard as this may seem, we simply have to forgive; we have no other scriptural options. So here's a process:
  • Be clear about your wounding - who was involved and what they did.
  • Try to understand what their motivations may have been.
  • Recognize what unforgiveness has done or will do to you - it keeps you from being your best self.
  • Choose to forgive. Write out your forgiveness in a journal and then, better still, a letter.
  • If possible, ask to sit down with the person. Tell them how whatthey did hurt you; then forgive them, no strings attached. True freedomonly comes when forgiveness is total.
  • Realize that how the person responds is irrelevant. You do theright thing; if they can't respond with grace, that is their issue, notyours.
  • Every time old memories and feelings come up, forgive the person again, and keep forgiving.
  • Pray for the person. Ask God to bless them.
  • Meditate on Jesus' radical words about forgiveness. Soak in them. Remember that, like old age, forgiveness ain't for sissies.
用情致深是危险的 就像孤注一掷的赌博 女孩子无论怎样迷恋对方都该记得保留几分给自己 成熟的男人迷人又迷惑人那。
这帖子牛逼。。。。
顶起牛贴~~
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